but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
