I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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