C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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