he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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