when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Randomize
