you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
