Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
