remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
