some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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