I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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