I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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