kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
