You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
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