I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
