party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
