where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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