her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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