My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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