never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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