No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
