Only a mothe r could love this liver
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
