In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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