I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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