we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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