They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
