Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water. http://tfl.nu/8w2r
  Replies (42) Good night (5039) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be http://tfl.nu/9ozv
  Replies (29) Good night (4637) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that http://tfl.nu/t0hz
  Replies (22) Good night (5507) Bad night (1401)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I can't feel my brain.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison. (417): I can't feel my brain. http://tfl.nu/qap9
  Replies (11) Good night (1928) Bad night (4193)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes. http://tfl.nu/hbc7
  Replies (8) Good night (3284) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today http://tfl.nu/z5b2
  Replies (4) Good night (2200) Bad night (1219)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again. http://tfl.nu/mmc2
  Replies (7) Good night (2843) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again" http://tfl.nu/25pr
  Replies (6) Good night (3800) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain. http://tfl.nu/kod9
  Replies (8) Good night (1535) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF. http://tfl.nu/a7gm
  Replies (7) Good night (432) Bad night (1304)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help? http://tfl.nu/m7i3
  Replies (2) Good night (1003) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon

  (850): View more from Florida

  Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon (850): Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found http://tfl.nu/d5sg
  Replies (4) Good night (892) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor. http://tfl.nu/67h2
  Replies (7) Good night (438) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him? http://tfl.nu/xuqr
  Replies (3) Good night (1134) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend http://tfl.nu/hwgi
  Replies (1) Good night (322) Bad night (225)

Randomize