fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"