If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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