dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud