Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(501): View more from Arkansas

fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long

(1-414): View more from Wisconsin

aren't you going with children?

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(256): View more from Alabama

oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?

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(440): View more from Ohio

I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood

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19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Read it at the TFLN blog
(614): View more from Ohio

I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk

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(772): View more from Florida

Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.

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(425): View more from Washington

We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.

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(873): View more from

I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in

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(775): View more from Nevada

She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"

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