I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
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took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
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I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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