it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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