I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
