yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I deserve this hangover.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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