just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
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I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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