You're completely useless in the revolution.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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