so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
