This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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