I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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