I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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