Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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