she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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