To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
