I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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