A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
