actually, I'm a sock model
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
