She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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