Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
