They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
