Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
