I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
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My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
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painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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