i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
