just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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