It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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