i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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