Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
