24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
