they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
