I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
