Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
