nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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