we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
