so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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