dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize