I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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