dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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