i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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