Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
